Set A Fire Down in My Soul

It's cold and grey. I am not quite sure of what's really going on out there...

I want to stand above these clouds showering down upon me... I want to have an aerial view of life.

Things have been difficult. Things have not been easy.

Emotionally, I feel quite stranded.

I know that only God can liberate me. Free me from this undesirable confusion.

I was at a worship night yesterday and I fell madly in love with the lyrics to this song.

http://youtu.be/0A8almp_nCU

"Preventive Maintenance" - LET IT GO by T.D. Jakes

"Often people so honor or respect us that they smother discontentment to appear congenial. This kind of deception is often well meaning but can really rob us of a real fighting chance at a better atmosphere at home or at work. Just because a person shows up at work and completes basic assignments doesn't ensure that they are really fulfilled in the workplace. I have seen time and time again frustration imitate cancer and silently engulf people who avoid confrontation to the point of becoming martyrs simply because they lack the courage or the skills to be forthcoming about little areas of discontentment. Then, before you ever saw it coming, you have lost an excellent team member to the silent progression of a discontentment that could have been avoided by communicating about a few small things long before they became major issues."

A paragraph out of "Let It Go" by T.D. Jakes; a book I am currently reading, can't get enough of, and can't seem to stop recommending. It is so good. Go to the book store or library. Check it out, you will not regret it.


This book is helping so much.

An Oldie But A Goodie

Something Like You - 'N Sync

At the Beginning - Donna Lewis & Richard Marx

beautiful person

"When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky." - 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz.

Honestly, I haven't quite figured you out, but I'd like to try.

You are so full of wonder, it just makes me smile.

It's quite like magic, how you act upon deeds so genuine.

We are not the children we used to be.

"We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
and then you turned, put out your hand,
and you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight."

I have not written in a while.

I thought I would update you all on the current status of my life.


I am eating gummy bears. They are lovely and I've been craving them for at least a week.

It's a nice treat.

That is all. Have a great week.

Being employed is not at all like I expected it to be. Management is poor, PR skills are low, and people are not always happy. It's so much more different than school... And so much easier to say, "I wonder what could have happened if I had done this instead..."

I am learning a lot. In the end I know that having unconsciously chosen the hard and trivial path it will be worth it. I will be better prepared for whatever the future holds.

Working has allowed me to taste the world and view its complexities.

It's not exactly lovely from where I stand.... But I feel as though this really is winter and spring will come.

Spring must come.
Just as rain kills a drought.
Flowers will revive what has been frozen.

I Love Autumn

This season comes with so many feelings. It is both warm and cold. The leaves are bright and happy... though the sky is grey.

The other night a good friend invited me out to a worship night at a nearby college. It was wonderful. I looked out the window at one point and realized that though it was cold out at the time, just a few hours ago it had been a warm afternoon. Things are changing drastically. We haven't had weather this bizarre since 1945, says the local newspaper.

But as I looked into the night sky brazed by the fog... I thought about God.
God's picture must be like the sky. Sometimes I like to think of his eyes being the universe in it's entity.
The sky is always changing, and in yet some sense it is consistent. It is always there. It isn't always what we want it to be, but it's what we need it to be.

We haven't had rain in weeks.

We don't necessarily like the rain.

Nonetheless we need it immensely. The grass is brittle and the air is quite dry.

I was figuring during worship that God is quite a mystery in a sense, because we have not physically seen Him. I trust He is there. That is what faith is for. I know He is because of the feelings and happenings that have occurred over the past few months especially where I have felt His presence.

Faith is difficult to explain unless you have experienced it...so I shall not ramble too much on that note. Just this: the other day I was talking about someone dear to my heart... and I said something that my heart must have known for the past two years for sure, but has just now put words to. "Faith is an experience of enlightenment that no human can touch. It is in a place so deep within our souls that only the Enlightener can handle."

Back to what I was saying.

I love autumn. Specifically Autumn 2012. I have seen sunshine and felt cold and witnessed the changing of colours upon the beautiful trees. I do not despise the falling of leaves. It kind of reminds me of the natural state of things. Trees without leaves. Nothing to disguise their backbone or structure.

I love autumn because it's all the best wrapped into one phase. God's beauty is everywhere. Is unique persona. His mystery. It's in the clouded skies and the blank blue paint of a brisk morning.

It is an experience I wish to savour.

It is just beauty.

Old Friends, New Goodbyes

If there is one thing that I've learned, it's that people are continually changing and growing. Sometimes these things have to happen regardless of how much we don't want them to.

Another thing I have learned is that when one door is closed, another is always opened. One we never saw before. 

I will miss you and always love the you that I used to know.

Free From It All

Life's a battleground; make sure you're well equipped, fighting on the right side. Are you engaged in living by truth or still enslaved by insecurities obsessed by imperfections? Fighting for truth allows us to live freely, no burdens. Fighting while still enslaved will just kill us harder.

It's easy to say you want to fight on the front lines. There's a certain hype about it. And there should be.

But are you fighting with a ball and chain still attached to your feet?

We are made to be free.

Fighting for freedom.

Hopping Away to My First Official Job

I now prepare the way for people to go to pancake heaven, as well as clean up their mess, for a living.

Such insight excites me.

Serving people and seeing them smile, makes me smile. :)

Plus it is aiding me in earning my Starbucks Gold Card... 😉

Movie Reviews

Becoming Jane is by far one of my most favorite movies. I haven't the slightest inclination as to why I find such a sad story to be amiable, but I think that its realistic plot is what does the trick. Then again, if you think about it deeply, there are some things about it that are gravely fantasized...

I don't know.

Then there's "Sense and Sensibility." Tonight as I was watching it, I realized that I was finding it quite enjoyable. That has never happened before. I have always hated it because Willoughby was a stupid selfish flirt who was supposed to be Prince Charming, and Colonel Brandon was the old doting one who ended up with the young wife. Had I been asked about my thoughts on the movie a year ago I would have torn it apart for a failure of a love story....
But tonight... I felt like it has become such a treasure.
I now understand the importance of morals and grounded feelings.
Marianne's passionate expressions and imaginative desires of what love should have been drug her down. I do not think her and Willoughby were in love.... And I find that part of the story was a little more dramatic for reality's sake... But how she found true love in the end... Or at least became more compassionate and sensitive towards genuine emotions of the heart (caring and civility)... Such a sight made my heart feel happy.

It is not something I can easily explain, but know that my feelings towards the movie have changed drastically.

I used to dislike how Marianne's eldest sister was so emotionless and quiet, but viewing it presently, it is far from that. She filled a well within her heart full of secrets that were locked away by good sense and keen morality. She only wanted to keep good reputation and not end up looking like a fool.

When the eldest Miss Dashwood finally let on about her feelings by crying away the burdens she had been forced to carry, I let a tear slip from my eye.

I have fallen in love with the story itself, because for once a romantic movie's immorality as well as good morality, acted upon by the characters, are realistic.

I understand.

Maybe it's due to the fact that somewhere between the first and last time I watched the film, I have grown up. I have tasted a little more of the world. I have smelled some sweet air and some bitter fragrances... And understand more of what I did not comprehend at all before.

Loving God Tonight

My plans keep changing and changing. If you have managed to keep up with it all, my original post-grad plans were for me to go to New Zealand via YWAM. I cancelled that trip in order to meet my great grandparents for the first time.... It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime situations....
So... That happened... And I got back thinking that I would work for a year. More opportunity showed up and I was able to apply to a university program. I got as far as the orientation before I realized it just wasn't what I wanted. I dropped out of the program, thankfully before tuition fees were processed, and am now standing somewhere in this foggy mist.

I can't really see ahead of me. Throughout all these changes, I have gone through quite an emotional journey.

But after flustering for about a day, trying to wrap my head around so many changes, I was reminded by several people close to my heart that God's got a plan. The world wants us to have everything planned out step by step because that is what is physically known to define us. However; we know that it is truly God and God alone who can define individuals. I have to trust that every step is going up to make way for something great and amazing. It's hard not being able to have a straight up answer... But I think it's better knowing that I have this faith to support me no matter what-- that there's a God who isn't going to let me fall.

I opened up my Bible tonight...

Matthew 16:24-28

God's got this. I can't mess with it... I can't change anything for the better. Only He can.

And I know deep down, this year off will turn out swell. I don't know if it will feel like it, but I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's all for my good.

God always has a way of making me feel so peaceful.

For now, I don't have set-in-stone plans. Only that, God-willing, I will see tomorrow and the next couple of years through with work, music, and then university.

Maybe I'll travel somewhere.

Who knows.

Only God. :)

#TrustingHim

I Just Love Music.

Hello Reader,

I hope you enjoy this video. Emeli Sandé is one of my most favourite artists, and I felt inspired to sing one of her songs.
Thank you for the support. I appreciate any feedback I can get, so rate, comment & subscribe and share if you're up to it. :) <3

Love y'all so much...

Jasmine Hope

Seasons Are Changing

I imagine that this new chapter that is being written in regards to my life will be full of change.

I do not know how I feel about that.

At this point, I am definitely open to it. There's something soothing about being refreshed.

I know that this change will take away from some things I find to be extravagantly comforting, though.

So, I am now praying that at the end of this road, there are sparkling rivers and blue skies, warm sunshine and all of the beautiful colours and scents that come with autumn.

A few years ago, one of my youth pastors spoke about how we all go through seasons. Winter can be full of hardships and difficult times, but spring always makes the ice crack. Seasons keep changing; that's the point.

Autumn has arrived, but I feel as though in my heart a spring has awoken. I am going to miss some things changing seasons deprive us from, but I know that whatever is to come will be stunning.

After all, there is beauty even in the rain.

I feel like David. A psalmist. I have all of these songs and poetry stored up in my soul, awaiting to burst. Songs and poetry of people I love. Songs and poetry of people I no longer understand, or maybe never have.

The psalmists had it going on. They always had the right words.

So much emotion. So much passion.

Oh Let It Just Be

Draw me a map
Let us not waste time
Searching for direction amongst the clouds in this sky

Draw me a map
Come with me
Let us travel

Let us shake hands
Drink tea
Smile happily and navigate across the sea
Together, Together

Oh let it just be.

Friend,

I am going to miss not seeing you everyday. I am going to miss the encouragement you always have to offer. I am going to miss you. Period.

I wish you the best of luck. Though you'll do fantastic without it, I just need you to know that I appreciate you, as a decent friend.

Beaucoup.

We're All A Piece of Work. We're All Painting That Piece of Work. It Is Art. Life--Life is Art.

We tend to make nothing turn into a big deal.

An argument paints the picture of denial and fear. I know it. I was once the painter.

Every work of art starts out differently, ends differently. We are all given different paints and pastels. We all pick up the brush and the stencil at different times. We all picture it differently. Some may never look at the easel happily. Some will be bored. Some will walk away, and never want a second chance. But we all paint. And each canvas remarks something extravagant.

My painting was once bright and beautiful. Somehow, as years went by, I darkened the tone and blended the blacks into the white. I grew fearful at what I painted. It depicted a monster of fear. But my Teacher blew upon the work once I asked. He then ripped the canvas, gave me a new one. He told me it was okay to start again. He took my hand. It was then that he began to help me work it into something new and grand. He mixed a new kind of love into my paints. It's not what I once had in mind. I may never be able to paint the picture I had originally started with.... I just know that if I continue to ask the Teacher for help, it'll be brilliant. With Him, everything is always perfection. And for me, the change is worthwhile. It's sort of new and exciting. I don't need to rely on past ideas of beauty.

My life is now dependent on this love I have never felt before. I am a new kind of painter. I enjoy working with different brushes and textures. I take my time.

I thank my Teacher so much for His help. He's always there to support me.

I never want to paint a monster again. I never will. I enjoy love all to much, for that.

I Love C.S. Lewis.

“It was when I was happiest that I longed most … The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing … to find the place where all the beauty came from.”
— C.S. Lewis

You Should Know, I Am Not the Superficial Type.

I was asked, "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would ya go?"

My answer ? "Argentina."

Maybe it was nerves... I don't really know what it was... but I've never really thought about visiting Argentina.
It would be absolutely lovely, I know that.

But my dream vacation is a trip to Britain.

So why did I say Argentina?

Maybe because it's never talked about. It's isolated. People forget about it because there's nothing awe strikingly famous about it.

I want to visit it because if no one is talking about it, there must be no superficiality to it.

And that's what I like.

I don't like anything superficial.