"Come hell or high water you will never take me back to the place I was before. I have been through too much to let life whoop me again. My faith is stronger than it's ever been, my mind is more tenacious than it's ever been, my soul is more absolute." - T.D. Jakes

A good reminder to get me where I want to be.

"Faith becomes a bridge between where I am and where I want to go-- it is a substance." -T.D. Jakes

Silence.

I thought I'd worked it out and gotten over you.

But see... I still can't seem to stop thinking about you.

And you probably don't even know I've liked you since forever a three years ago.

Now we barely talk.

And I should probably walk away.

But I don't know how.

I don't know how to shut someone out, who helped me open up my heart in the first place.

I Love Autumn

This season comes with so many feelings. It is both warm and cold. The leaves are bright and happy... though the sky is grey.

The other night a good friend invited me out to a worship night at a nearby college. It was wonderful. I looked out the window at one point and realized that though it was cold out at the time, just a few hours ago it had been a warm afternoon. Things are changing drastically. We haven't had weather this bizarre since 1945, says the local newspaper.

But as I looked into the night sky brazed by the fog... I thought about God.
God's picture must be like the sky. Sometimes I like to think of his eyes being the universe in it's entity.
The sky is always changing, and in yet some sense it is consistent. It is always there. It isn't always what we want it to be, but it's what we need it to be.

We haven't had rain in weeks.

We don't necessarily like the rain.

Nonetheless we need it immensely. The grass is brittle and the air is quite dry.

I was figuring during worship that God is quite a mystery in a sense, because we have not physically seen Him. I trust He is there. That is what faith is for. I know He is because of the feelings and happenings that have occurred over the past few months especially where I have felt His presence.

Faith is difficult to explain unless you have experienced it...so I shall not ramble too much on that note. Just this: the other day I was talking about someone dear to my heart... and I said something that my heart must have known for the past two years for sure, but has just now put words to. "Faith is an experience of enlightenment that no human can touch. It is in a place so deep within our souls that only the Enlightener can handle."

Back to what I was saying.

I love autumn. Specifically Autumn 2012. I have seen sunshine and felt cold and witnessed the changing of colours upon the beautiful trees. I do not despise the falling of leaves. It kind of reminds me of the natural state of things. Trees without leaves. Nothing to disguise their backbone or structure.

I love autumn because it's all the best wrapped into one phase. God's beauty is everywhere. Is unique persona. His mystery. It's in the clouded skies and the blank blue paint of a brisk morning.

It is an experience I wish to savour.

It is just beauty.

Yes. Jesus > Hypocrisy of Religion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

I Don't Think I Can Explain This Very Well

And I don't know if I want to. No.
Details will remain unsaid.

But, all in all I've found myself questioning too much. "Is this real, is that? Is anything?" Very ridiculous, but it's been pretty hard. I haven't written very much because I've been trying to get my head on straight. Over the past few weeks, I've even questioned my faith.....

I guess a lot of people do.
But I've never wanted to come to this stance-point.
It's a super different change... and I'm pretty sure Theory of Knowledge Class doesn't help. (Hence why I'm dropping it for 2011-2012).
I've feared so much in the past few weeks.
So....in rebel against all this, I've been reading a lot of scriptures from the Bible....all dealing with how the love of God is so powerful, protective, and amazing.

I hate TOK for making me question everything....and yes....it's made me question even this. But I'm pressing on. I really am.
And somehow, I just know that God's using this to strengthen me......and I'm pretty sure this is that part in life where I can choose to take the high road or the low road.

Yes, this is definitely one of those challenges where I have to put everything in God's hands.
It's hard.
It's that spiritual part of Christianity where everything relies on you allowing the Holy Spirit to move....allowing Jesus to take my life and rule 100% of it. Yeah, the Word backs up a lot of it.....(hope this is making sense to you, Reader), but so much of this has been spiritually supernatural for me.

But....I just know that in the end I'll make it out.
Sometimes my days are super cheery, and sometimes it's a battlefield in my mind where I have to put on the Armour of God (having realized how powerful it really is!) and charge at every thing that's so distracting.

But...I just know that this is a test I'll pass. I have to. I must.
I've been trying to read a lot of the Word to get focused and remind myself that I'm not the only one who's gone/going through this. It's working.

I just have to push past that disgusting spirit of fear a lot, and wake up realizing that God is real. We can't see Him, but He's alive. He is.

Man. It feels good to have finally let some of it out.

Memo: If you're feeling burdened, not joking, it helps to speak up. As much as you don't want to, it helps to get it over with.

Riding the Tides

Virtually.....Life is like a glass bottle. We....are like glass bottles.

We float in the tides waiting to reach dry land.
We ride the waves...
We sink....we float....we crash....

And sometimes we break.

Say someone finds our broken pieces, though. Say someone (of a greater being) melts our pieces with his own creation....with his own fire.
Say.....let's say....he makes us new again.

Say....he puts back out in the water again....but this time....He controls the water.....He controls the tides.....
and we float with the strengths and abilities....the density and being that which he has given us.


Life is like a glass bottle.
I am a glass bottle.

And...right now...
I feel like floating against the greater tides.....so....I'm rising from where I've sunk....and I'm going to ride them waves.
I think the only way I'll be able to float up from the depths I'm in....the only way I can get out of this current that's dragging me on to no purpose....is to call on my Maker.



Bring 'em on, baby. Bring 'em on.

Blogger's Challenge Day 22

:) There's probably a lot of things that my friends would say, that separates me from the norm of society. Hahaha....like....the fact I'm a total Star Wars Nerd. Or how I am sixteen and a half, and wear disney-shaped backpacks. Maybe it's how for my grad quote, I'll probably pull out something from Dr. Seuss or Yoda. Then again, there's the fact that any normal kid would have good come-backs to shoot across at their "great" friends ((HP Sauceeee)).

In a rather serious tone, though, I think that it's more like how my morals have grounded me into who I am today. I'm comfortable waiting for perfect moments. My life would be nothing with out God's blessing and the love I have for Jesus....the love Jesus has for me. I guess...what I'm trying to say, is that I will stand against what gets in my way, and I'll keep my morals straight. I'm confident, and like I said, comfortable, in being who I am: a chick who follows the rules. Not the rules depicted by this world, but by the rules I have made for myself......spiritual rules I guess.

I guess another thing that's important to me (though I don't know if this qualifies under this specific noted subject) is how I always want to imply a phrase: "Expose the frauds!!" in like...a lot of things I want to do. See...at the moment I want to be a journalist. I love to write. I love photography. I have questions. Good combo right? Unfortunately, sometimes I don't have a backbone. I want to. I think it would be easy if I adapted to having a backbone...like...soon. Anyway, that's beside the point. If I became a journalist, my catch-phrase would definitely be "To Expose the Frauds!!!"
I think it would be so cool to major in psychology, then go on to journalism; combine the two and you get a person who is capable of seeing the meaning behind certain actions and reactions, and able to ask probing, effective questions.

Just an idea.

Jazzy.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favourite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days 

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

day 13- your 5 favourite books and why

day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- a picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past

day 20- write a letter to someone

day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favourite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favourite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

Blogger's Challenge Day 12

Beauty betwixt love.
Entangled fingers.
Not despairing.

We're flying...
Flying beyond the clouds...
Above the mountains...

This dream I have...
I hope we share.

I fear it's loss
I desire it's verve.

I am here.
You are where?

I will wait...
Have faith...

I am here.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favourite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days 

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- a picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favorite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favorite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

This is How It Should Be.

Click This Link, and Check out Something Miraculous!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/3s2KGD/joshtandy.com/2011/02/04/this-is-what-it-looks-like/

-Jazzy-

Remembrance Day

11/11/11/2010.
Did you take part in the One Minute of Silence? I know it's not the eleventh yet, but I'm pretty sure we've all got the school day off tomorrow, and have had an assembly of honour for these patriots today.

This year, I've had a whole new take on Remembrance Day. In English we've read "All Quiet On The Western Front" and poems by Wilfred Own and Rupert Brooke....In History it's been a very deep focus on WWI....
And all in all....I am very thankful....so incredibly thankful....

These soldiers...young men...left their families and loved ones, in 1914, to fight....
They were ignorant of the horrors of war, to the murder of innocence they'd have to face, to all they'd be losing.
I am soo incredibly thankful for these soldiers who kept walking on, who kept fighting, who stood their ground to give us Freedom, Peace, and Integrity. Thanks to these soldiers...we are able to live, love, and hope.
If I could, I would name each and every one of you millions of soldiers who had to face the treacherous atrocity of war.

Thank you.


Watching more "I Am Second" videos.... This one is from Brian Welch....an ex-rockstar. VERY inspirational. Times a million.
http://www.youtube.com/user/IamSecondVIDEOS#p/a/u/1/EOeruTrdF1Q

"Contentment is given to you in life, because you don't have to look anywhere else. And you're exactly where you ned to be. And your question about life is answered."-Brian "Head" Welch (from KORN)

You need to watch the video. If you don't have the time, skim down to 6:58.....but I strongly encourage you to watch this. Really.

I'm off to piano lessons, then to a local play. :)

Jazzy.