Met The Most Inspirational Famous People. Pretty Much The Best Day of My Life. Milestone.

I guess I haven't really blogged in a while.

Been drinking too much tea, writing so many songs, and making a lot of lattes lately.

I'm a barista now ! So exciting.


Major update: I met Of Monsters and Men over the weekend ! :)
http://www.ofmonstersandmen.com

Words To You.

I don't want to waste my life regretting what I have not said.

I don't want to regret saying what I have not said.

So I sit back.

Pondering the objections and projections of an unlikely love.

A question.

An exclamation.

Confessions of a Tea-oholic

Loose-leaf tea is the way to go. Never going back to tea bags.

I get my black tea from Sri Lanka-- bulk. :) Benefits of having family connections overseas, in some of the best tea capitals of the world.

If getting loose-leaf tea is hard to come by from wherever you're at, I highly recommend Dilmah tea bags.

:)

Go find yourself some healthy addictions !

#Tea #Tea #Tea !!!

The Kind of Advice Dad Gives Me That Brings Tears To My Eyes.

"Once you've done everything right, know in your heart it was right... don't be fumbled by others ignorance, disapproval, or negativity. Keep moving on... don't let your heart be hardened... but definitely your skin be thicker..."

-John Silva

My Dad's advice + his broken English = Golden. 

I love him so much. 

beautiful person

"When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky." - 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz.

Honestly, I haven't quite figured you out, but I'd like to try.

You are so full of wonder, it just makes me smile.

It's quite like magic, how you act upon deeds so genuine.

We are not the children we used to be.

"We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
and then you turned, put out your hand,
and you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight."

I Love Autumn

This season comes with so many feelings. It is both warm and cold. The leaves are bright and happy... though the sky is grey.

The other night a good friend invited me out to a worship night at a nearby college. It was wonderful. I looked out the window at one point and realized that though it was cold out at the time, just a few hours ago it had been a warm afternoon. Things are changing drastically. We haven't had weather this bizarre since 1945, says the local newspaper.

But as I looked into the night sky brazed by the fog... I thought about God.
God's picture must be like the sky. Sometimes I like to think of his eyes being the universe in it's entity.
The sky is always changing, and in yet some sense it is consistent. It is always there. It isn't always what we want it to be, but it's what we need it to be.

We haven't had rain in weeks.

We don't necessarily like the rain.

Nonetheless we need it immensely. The grass is brittle and the air is quite dry.

I was figuring during worship that God is quite a mystery in a sense, because we have not physically seen Him. I trust He is there. That is what faith is for. I know He is because of the feelings and happenings that have occurred over the past few months especially where I have felt His presence.

Faith is difficult to explain unless you have experienced it...so I shall not ramble too much on that note. Just this: the other day I was talking about someone dear to my heart... and I said something that my heart must have known for the past two years for sure, but has just now put words to. "Faith is an experience of enlightenment that no human can touch. It is in a place so deep within our souls that only the Enlightener can handle."

Back to what I was saying.

I love autumn. Specifically Autumn 2012. I have seen sunshine and felt cold and witnessed the changing of colours upon the beautiful trees. I do not despise the falling of leaves. It kind of reminds me of the natural state of things. Trees without leaves. Nothing to disguise their backbone or structure.

I love autumn because it's all the best wrapped into one phase. God's beauty is everywhere. Is unique persona. His mystery. It's in the clouded skies and the blank blue paint of a brisk morning.

It is an experience I wish to savour.

It is just beauty.

Finding Inner Peace.

Life after high school is so different. I did not imagine such dramatic things would start happening. 

It's not all bad.

But there comes a time when we all feel slightly lonely in life. Hate to be a downer, but that's what's up.

It has been quite an eye opener-- realizing who true friends are, why faith is so important, and how it really effects the grand spectrum of life. 

I was trying to fall asleep at 2am last night, when I pulled up a youtube link on my iPod. I've had this song listed as one of my favourites for quite a while, but the words hit me hard this time. 

Seriously. Breathe in "Abba" and exhale "I belong to you." 

It just felt so beautiful. 

I've always known it. But sometimes saying it aloud really helps. Alone or surrounded, there's always someone's who's got my back. 

Happy Easter

Thankful that this long weekend is just a reminder of what Jesus did for us.

That he would die for us, so that we could be forgiven is astounding. That he would die for me... almost seems crazy, but I am so greatful. I would not be where I am today, had he not become my best friend.

Trusting always, and trying to put God first in everything I do is a challenge, but Jesus definitely took the pressure of many hindrances away.

I don't fear anymore, because I know that the love that held onto the cross and overcame the grave, is strong enough to hold me up and keep me safe. This unconditional love is a beautiful thing.

Happy Easter, everyone.

Enjoy your chocolate. :)

Let the Earth Open Up. Can I Swim in Your Beauty?

One day I will sketch the world, paint a nebula, mould the ocean out of teal clay, and post all these beautiful things on my blog.
God made some pretty amazing things. 
And, everything continues to grow.
Let it be amazing. Let it grow.
This continual inspiration in invigorating. 

Just Because.

Here's a post... just because.

Not because I have to... or need to...

but... just because.

I have finally inserted some time for myself: to read. Not just all that junk we are forced to read in English class; it is for the sake of those books left to collect dust both on my own as well as the library's shelves.

Ode to:

The Cosmic Trilogy by C. S. Lewis.

It's absolutely genius. It's taken me a while to read it, but at least I've picked it up. It's lyrical... magical... quite like a metamorphosis about life in general, if you read between the lines.

I recommend it... x10.

Another thing:

You must listen to David Crowder* Band's new album: Give Us Rest or (A Requiem Mass in C [The Happiest of All Keys])

Fresh. New. Exciting. Invigorating. Real.

I 

LOVE

IT.

The End.

Ode To Thee, Yee Hypocrites.

If there's one thing that I've learned in my short life span of seventeen years, it's the dirty fact that the noted exploitations of addictions, do not die easily. They may die hard and drastically, but they do not die easy.
No matter how loved you are...
No matter how many friends you've got holdin' you up...
No matter the dollars in your pocket, or the lack there of--addictions are just that.
I've prayed and I've lost.
I've known and I've wondered.
But this.
This has thus far amounted to be just too much.

From whence came forth your troubles and lies, sends heartbreak and love infused with my cries.

I hope you find God...who can lift you up, out of the spiritual debt that these addictions have buried you in....

And as a warning to those who like to meddle with trouble...
And those who persist to put their hands into boiling pots of water...just for the thrill of it (which I do continue to believe, the proposed does include us all, to some extent)....I pray you fight to stand up straight.

Exonerate yourself from the blames addiction has slowly piled upon your back.

Goodbye Grade 11.

Well. You guys.
We did it.
We finished our first year of IB.
One more year.

You know, today, it finally hit me like a unicorn falling from the sky. Not the concept of summer (noting that the rain has not ceased), but the concept that....I have to get going on making my prom dress, start thinking about scholarship opportunities, look through college and uni brochures, make sure I'm on the right track, put some extra effort into the extra courses I'm going to be taking, definitely go harder and push myself with my piano, write more.....aaaaaaaaaaah *migraine.

Sometimes I wonder what my life could have turned out to be...if I had focused on one core area. Like the arts. What if I had continued piano at age 5? Would I be thinking about Juilliard right now?
Not gonna lie...I think Juilliard would be a lot of fun...wouldn't mind going there. But chances are that won't happen.

What if I was super brilliant? Would I be thinking about Ivy League schools?

Truth is...I don't know what I'm really good at. I'm sure the average kid doesn't. We're all over the map....and I don't understand why everyone wants to know what I'm going to university for. I don't understand why so many adults make a face when I say that I have absolutely no idea what I want to be "when I grow up," because to them, I am grown up, and these 11 years of education prepping should have prepared me for this disastrous, wonderful, life-changing, big question. Are you ready to graduate?

Maybe I'll sing and play piano for life. Maybe I'll become a Chemist, ironic since up until Semester II grade 11, I've always been disgusted with science. Maybe I'll live by my pen and travel the world with notebooks, canvas, paint, and a Nikon D3100.
Maybe I'll go to uni, get a BA, marry the prince of my dreams, and adopt a billion teens so that we can all live in my dream home.
Maybe I'll finish high school, fall in love with YWAM, and rearrange all my plans.
Maybe I'll travel...and travel....and travel just to rub it in fears face that nothing is impossible.....that I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Pshht....I have no idea what my future holds. Nothing. Notta.
The world tells me that I've gotta have it figured out by the end of this summer.
Heck, they want that figured out right now.
LOL. They wanted it written, signed, and vowed upon, post-Planning 10.

But, reader, I think the best advice I can offer for a situation like this...is we'll never know what we truly want. We live in a world full of incredible opportunities. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest.
That's what I plan on doing.

Goodbye Grade 11. Hello Senior Year.
Kind of a scary thought. I'm not sure what this year is gonna bring. I don't know what I'll be given, or what I'll choose. All I know is, that God's got my future planned out....I'll just have to follow my dreams in order to get there. Whatever it is....it'll be fulfilling, purposeful, engaging, and I'll absolutely love it.

We have to make our own path. I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to follow your dreams....that's why I have my own.
I want to leave high school, knowing that I made some sort of difference....and I want to go into this real world, knowing that I have a purpose to fulfill, and a mark to make upon the earth.


Here's to you, fellow grad victims of 2012.

We're not like everyone else. We have our own stories to tell, and new chapters to make.

No Regrets.


xoxo
jazzypants
silvader.

Aspirations.

I love that feeling that twists my heart up into that throbbing emotion of love. I love it when I can sit down on my favourite piece of furniture ~my piano stool~ and let my fingers roll along the ivories and flats. I love the feeling of a pedal beneath my painted toes.

Today I managed to sit down...and just play. I didn't go over my scales (though I definitely need to!!), and I didn't practice Sonatina in C Major (The Third Movement), and I briefly went over my study...but, today I allowed my self to sing and play the three best songs I've written.

It felt fantastic.

All the words fell into place, and I managed to hit some notes I haven't hit before...but I sang like I meant it. Most of my songs are so abstract, and I know that if I ever perform them, I'll have to explain them...but today I sang them with so much meaning.
It felt so real.

For me, when I sing and play my upright....it's like I enter a whole new world. A world where scales and majors and minors echo beyond what they really are. It's like these notes float onto papers in Heaven....and I can imagine that I'm playing along with Heaven's choir.

What it comes down to, is that everything that feels so real to me....becomes my songs. I sing for the sake of the passion deep within me. I sing for what makes me live and breathe.

Today I finished writing one of my songs....I'm fooling around with the bridge...but I can for the most part pull some improv with some chords and make it work.

And then I felt like writing more--and I finally wrote another song. In record time, too!

It takes me a while to write songs...because I don't always write when I have the onus to do so.

But today was a very passionate day.

And I just thought I'd share that with you. :)

I Don't Think I Can Explain This Very Well

And I don't know if I want to. No.
Details will remain unsaid.

But, all in all I've found myself questioning too much. "Is this real, is that? Is anything?" Very ridiculous, but it's been pretty hard. I haven't written very much because I've been trying to get my head on straight. Over the past few weeks, I've even questioned my faith.....

I guess a lot of people do.
But I've never wanted to come to this stance-point.
It's a super different change... and I'm pretty sure Theory of Knowledge Class doesn't help. (Hence why I'm dropping it for 2011-2012).
I've feared so much in the past few weeks.
So....in rebel against all this, I've been reading a lot of scriptures from the Bible....all dealing with how the love of God is so powerful, protective, and amazing.

I hate TOK for making me question everything....and yes....it's made me question even this. But I'm pressing on. I really am.
And somehow, I just know that God's using this to strengthen me......and I'm pretty sure this is that part in life where I can choose to take the high road or the low road.

Yes, this is definitely one of those challenges where I have to put everything in God's hands.
It's hard.
It's that spiritual part of Christianity where everything relies on you allowing the Holy Spirit to move....allowing Jesus to take my life and rule 100% of it. Yeah, the Word backs up a lot of it.....(hope this is making sense to you, Reader), but so much of this has been spiritually supernatural for me.

But....I just know that in the end I'll make it out.
Sometimes my days are super cheery, and sometimes it's a battlefield in my mind where I have to put on the Armour of God (having realized how powerful it really is!) and charge at every thing that's so distracting.

But...I just know that this is a test I'll pass. I have to. I must.
I've been trying to read a lot of the Word to get focused and remind myself that I'm not the only one who's gone/going through this. It's working.

I just have to push past that disgusting spirit of fear a lot, and wake up realizing that God is real. We can't see Him, but He's alive. He is.

Man. It feels good to have finally let some of it out.

Memo: If you're feeling burdened, not joking, it helps to speak up. As much as you don't want to, it helps to get it over with.

One Thing About Adolescence.

As teens, we grow.

Mentally.
Physically.
And Spiritually.

I'm at that point where....I'm looking back, reflecting, and correcting.
I'm dreaming....hoping....aspiring to be like my loved ones.

Over the past year, life's handed me tears, smiles, and frowns....and I've learned how to handle these things. In other cases, I'm still emotionally flustered, and fine myself laying in bed thinking about certain hardships past midnight.

At this very moment though, this song has been incredibly evoking.

I need to wake up.
I want to wake up.
It's just very difficult....to wake up out of hibernation.

More difficult than I thought.

But. "I need to be revived. Bring me back to life."

I'm gonna try harder.
I really am.

Hold me to it folks.

God......Hold me to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5gFdx8o76Y

You Need to Watch This.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs&feature=player_embedded

Oh boy.

"Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When I had read this quote sometime around last year, I rotated the word "love" around, and managed to impliment it into the sentences. I loved it. It's a super quote if you're going that way.

But what of....broken love?
That is what came to mind yesterday.
Broken love.

 have a lot to say about this idea....(so to speak....of broken love.
But I will not state my opinions as much as I want to.

However, there's this one flaw:

Achieving the "unutterable--" -Wait.....fulfillment?
Is there any fulfillment in broken love?


My opinion: sometimes.
Why?
Because if you continue to hope, grow, and have faith....sometimes you can find that thing called perfected love, which you may have only come to terms with if you had found broken love....

Does that make sense?

Blogger's Challenge Day 21

There are a lot of things that make me happy...



Daddy and Mumsie




my brother :)




my babe of a dog, Rupert :)



Pictures, that by chance, turn out perfect.



Magical Moments that will never be forgotten.



Yoda. :)



Perfect evenings...when you know it will be a good star gazing night.



Blowing Bubbles....

 A lot of magical things make me happy....so I couldn't just choose one.... :)

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favourite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days 

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

day 13- your 5 favourite books and why

day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- a picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past

day 20- write a letter to someone

day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favourite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favourite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

Blogger's Challenge Day 19

I remember the first banana split I ever had. My dad and I were in the mall, and we shared a delightful DQ split. :)

I remember being in Kindergarten, sitting in the hallway trying to pull off my indoor shoes, then, seeing my aunt come down the hallway I ran off to go home...leaving my outdoor shoes in the hallway. Sounds like a weird memory to be quite honest, but I remember the feeling of excitement in seeing my aunt...and it's just typical that I would forget something so simple a switching my shoes.

I remember, being younger, living in our apartment...going down to an older lady's condo...and she gave me one of those coloured glass framed pictures....the ones where if hung in the right light against a window, will glint beautifully against the walls. I still have it...it's a white teddy bear sitting on a swing.

I remember being 2 or 3...wheeling around in a wheel chair in Children's Hospital and seeing Mickey Mouse in a phone booth. He told me that he was phoning Minnie. :)

I remember...laying in a hospital bed...the nurse commented on my pony tail elastics...they had a piece of plastic cake on them ((childhood decor)). She asked me if she could have a piece. :) I was perplexed, and wondered how she could think the piece of cake was real.

I remember playing a lot of games with my brother...hide and go seek...tag....collecting lady bugs in the back yard.
I remember my mumsie telling me that even in a thunderstorm Jesus could give me peace.
I remember my favourite aunt asking what I wanted for breakfast...that was the first time I had ever heard of an "Egg in a Basket." :)

Oh....sweet sweet memoirs.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favourite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days 

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

day 13- your 5 favourite books and why

day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- a picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past

day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favourite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favourite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

Blogger's Challenge Day 17

If I could switch places...see life through someone else's eyes...it would be with my little brother.

I would like to see how is day goes.
What he deals with.
What does he think?
What does he make of life?

Maybe then...I could beat up anyone who thinks less of him.  :)
And we could understand each other...
And we could argue less....

It would be cool.


I love you Bobo. Happy 13th Birthday! :) Follow your dreams....live life....do the unthinkable. Because your potential is only the beginning step in breaking through what's holding you back. You're amazing...and I know you're gonna do some incredible things in life.

You already are.

Love Jazzy.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favourite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days 

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

day 13- your 5 favourite books and why

day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- a picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favourite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favourite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.