Home.

I want to run and run and run.

Into the abyss.

Into the forrest.

Upon the ocean's waves.

Soaring on clouds.

I want to run and run and run.

I want to see the flocks of swallows rise up behind me, their winds carrying me to fly.

Onward to Zion.

Onward to peace.

I'm looking for you.

Across the lake, to the mountains and in the lavender-lit grey-time sky.

Beneath the benches of solitude.

In the trees.
In the trees.
In the trees.

Come and find me.

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

A smile can hide a lot of secrets. A smile can create a personality out of someone and draw out their inner happiness. A smile can endure pain and portray the beauty of strength.

She has used this smile to hide a lot of things that have happened in her life. She has used this smile to laugh at jokes that are far too old and hurtful. She has used this smile to show how she truly feels at times.

There are a bundle of emotions hidden in her heart.

You may think you know her.

But you do not.

Be careful what you say, because although you may think you know someone.... you do not.


I hope you've read this. I hope you've seen this and know exactly what I am talking about.

Goodbye Grade 11.

Well. You guys.
We did it.
We finished our first year of IB.
One more year.

You know, today, it finally hit me like a unicorn falling from the sky. Not the concept of summer (noting that the rain has not ceased), but the concept that....I have to get going on making my prom dress, start thinking about scholarship opportunities, look through college and uni brochures, make sure I'm on the right track, put some extra effort into the extra courses I'm going to be taking, definitely go harder and push myself with my piano, write more.....aaaaaaaaaaah *migraine.

Sometimes I wonder what my life could have turned out to be...if I had focused on one core area. Like the arts. What if I had continued piano at age 5? Would I be thinking about Juilliard right now?
Not gonna lie...I think Juilliard would be a lot of fun...wouldn't mind going there. But chances are that won't happen.

What if I was super brilliant? Would I be thinking about Ivy League schools?

Truth is...I don't know what I'm really good at. I'm sure the average kid doesn't. We're all over the map....and I don't understand why everyone wants to know what I'm going to university for. I don't understand why so many adults make a face when I say that I have absolutely no idea what I want to be "when I grow up," because to them, I am grown up, and these 11 years of education prepping should have prepared me for this disastrous, wonderful, life-changing, big question. Are you ready to graduate?

Maybe I'll sing and play piano for life. Maybe I'll become a Chemist, ironic since up until Semester II grade 11, I've always been disgusted with science. Maybe I'll live by my pen and travel the world with notebooks, canvas, paint, and a Nikon D3100.
Maybe I'll go to uni, get a BA, marry the prince of my dreams, and adopt a billion teens so that we can all live in my dream home.
Maybe I'll finish high school, fall in love with YWAM, and rearrange all my plans.
Maybe I'll travel...and travel....and travel just to rub it in fears face that nothing is impossible.....that I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Pshht....I have no idea what my future holds. Nothing. Notta.
The world tells me that I've gotta have it figured out by the end of this summer.
Heck, they want that figured out right now.
LOL. They wanted it written, signed, and vowed upon, post-Planning 10.

But, reader, I think the best advice I can offer for a situation like this...is we'll never know what we truly want. We live in a world full of incredible opportunities. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest.
That's what I plan on doing.

Goodbye Grade 11. Hello Senior Year.
Kind of a scary thought. I'm not sure what this year is gonna bring. I don't know what I'll be given, or what I'll choose. All I know is, that God's got my future planned out....I'll just have to follow my dreams in order to get there. Whatever it is....it'll be fulfilling, purposeful, engaging, and I'll absolutely love it.

We have to make our own path. I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to follow your dreams....that's why I have my own.
I want to leave high school, knowing that I made some sort of difference....and I want to go into this real world, knowing that I have a purpose to fulfill, and a mark to make upon the earth.


Here's to you, fellow grad victims of 2012.

We're not like everyone else. We have our own stories to tell, and new chapters to make.

No Regrets.


xoxo
jazzypants
silvader.

Aspirations.

I love that feeling that twists my heart up into that throbbing emotion of love. I love it when I can sit down on my favourite piece of furniture ~my piano stool~ and let my fingers roll along the ivories and flats. I love the feeling of a pedal beneath my painted toes.

Today I managed to sit down...and just play. I didn't go over my scales (though I definitely need to!!), and I didn't practice Sonatina in C Major (The Third Movement), and I briefly went over my study...but, today I allowed my self to sing and play the three best songs I've written.

It felt fantastic.

All the words fell into place, and I managed to hit some notes I haven't hit before...but I sang like I meant it. Most of my songs are so abstract, and I know that if I ever perform them, I'll have to explain them...but today I sang them with so much meaning.
It felt so real.

For me, when I sing and play my upright....it's like I enter a whole new world. A world where scales and majors and minors echo beyond what they really are. It's like these notes float onto papers in Heaven....and I can imagine that I'm playing along with Heaven's choir.

What it comes down to, is that everything that feels so real to me....becomes my songs. I sing for the sake of the passion deep within me. I sing for what makes me live and breathe.

Today I finished writing one of my songs....I'm fooling around with the bridge...but I can for the most part pull some improv with some chords and make it work.

And then I felt like writing more--and I finally wrote another song. In record time, too!

It takes me a while to write songs...because I don't always write when I have the onus to do so.

But today was a very passionate day.

And I just thought I'd share that with you. :)

Note.

Note that I'm going to postpone that blogpost.....I forget what number it is.
But I'm not ready to write it.
The one about what's in my bag.

I want to wait until I find a messenger bag and do a funky photo........If I don't find a side messenger bag by the end of the next two weeks (I'm on spring break) I'll just letcha know what's in my bag and get on with the thirty-day challenge.

For now.
I will write.

Blogger's Challenge Day 01.

15 Facts 

I love Britain. Never have I been to this place...but I am in love with British accents, ancient British buildings, British comedy, and British music.

I rock out to several different genres of music {I can't just choose one} ~~indie (rock/pop/techno/folk), normal rock, britpop, alternative, hip hop, classical, piano, jazz....INDIE!~~

I love to eat and cook exotic foods.

I am Sri Lankan.

I love to write, and have recently begun to do so in French. 

I paint abstract.

I write metaphorical songs.

I absolutely love astronomy. The stars...the universe...they fascinate me. 

I read a lot. Pretty much any genre.

I hate scary movies. My idea of scary: Deja Vu, Inception, Shutter Island...etc. Things that are a battle of the mind kind of creep me out. I'm getting over it though. 

I love to dance, though I've never taken lessons.

I am absolutely obsessed with Star Wars. Yoda is my hero. 

I play the piano, recorder, know a little saxaphone, a little guitar, and have experimented with a harmonica and want to learn the banjo because weird instruments are the coolest most unique things ever. Anything that's "different" and wouldn't be used by artists in the Billboard Top 100 are things I am completely interested in. 

I wear turquoise eye shadow, and don't care what the prepsters think. 

I have no idea what I'm going to be when I grow up, but I trust the God who breathed air into my lungs. I owe it all to Him...for He knows the plans He has for me.....plans to prosper...and not to harm. Plans to give me hope and a future. {{Jeremiah 29:11}}

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die
day 12- write a poem to someone you love
day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- a picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favorite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favorite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

As Inspired by Hallsi.

Reading Jay's blog, that good friend of mine, I came across a new challenge that i admire much more than the Facebook 30-Day Challenge. It's taken me like 60 days to complete that one, and I haven't even finished. There's only so many things I can find picture suiting phrases best.
But this one, now this one's good. :)
It combines everything I love: writing, expressing, AND pictures (but not an exceedingly ridiculous amount). :)
So here goes. Check out the next blogpost for Day 1.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die
day 12- write a poem to someone you love
day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- a picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favorite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favorite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

Blah Blah Blahhhhhhh.

I do realize I didn't write yesterday, but quite frankly I had no time. :)
Right now, I'm not even supposed to be writing. I should be reading Lord of the Flies, or working on that lame-o WWI work package thingamabobber. :P
But I am not. I am writing. Here. Lamely.

:\
I have not but much else to say. I leave you with a quote submitted by my good friend, Athos. :)

"Well done is better than well said." -Benjamin Franklin