Oh Summer, Why Do You Tease Me So?

You know, each June I feel the long hard school year pass away, and take a credible amount of joy in the coming months of summer...but as September peaks his head around the corner, I realize that it is not possible for these breezy, beautiful, care-free months to stay forever.
Having said that, it feels like our Grad Year is right around the corner, guys!!

Okay. I don't want to talk about that anymore. Too many mixed emotions. So Stoked, and So Sad at the Same Time.

Enooooough of that.

As per ritual, Summer usually permits me to go through old storage boxes in the garage, and having done so last week, I came across a favourite book series I used to be addicted to in the middle school years.

The Mandie Series. 

These books are super short but utterly delighting. I remember when it used to take me a week to read these books, and I still found them to be mysteriously engrossing. I picked one up yesterday and finished it in a couple of hours. Silly me. :p

I'm planning on finishing this series, but I'll have to buy some of them....I only have books 1-17 or something...and there's like....a billion. 

I remember as an elementary kid I used to read the "little mandie" books....based on when she was much younger; then as I turned 12, I found a much more mature series, and yet, as I turned 14 or 15 I gave up because I realized this series was unending. The excellent author, Lois Gladys Leppard, not only wrote on Mandy's younger days and teenage days, but also on her college years!

I'm sure I can finish them.

I just have to try.

Next on my great hunt, I found a book called "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy. It's a great advice giving, devotional, girlie book that my wonderful Mumsie gave me last year. 

I started reading it, and it's super great! It's about moving past the secular message about romance, and not listening to what the worldly culture tells us; rather to walk with God and find romance in Him.

I haven't exactly finished this, but it's a great book where Leslie Ludy describes her teenage life, and shares how she prepared her heart for God, and for her husband.

That's what I'm reading at the moment, but I'll let you know of any other great finds!! :)

Jazzelz.

Ode To Thee, Yee Hypocrites.

If there's one thing that I've learned in my short life span of seventeen years, it's the dirty fact that the noted exploitations of addictions, do not die easily. They may die hard and drastically, but they do not die easy.
No matter how loved you are...
No matter how many friends you've got holdin' you up...
No matter the dollars in your pocket, or the lack there of--addictions are just that.
I've prayed and I've lost.
I've known and I've wondered.
But this.
This has thus far amounted to be just too much.

From whence came forth your troubles and lies, sends heartbreak and love infused with my cries.

I hope you find God...who can lift you up, out of the spiritual debt that these addictions have buried you in....

And as a warning to those who like to meddle with trouble...
And those who persist to put their hands into boiling pots of water...just for the thrill of it (which I do continue to believe, the proposed does include us all, to some extent)....I pray you fight to stand up straight.

Exonerate yourself from the blames addiction has slowly piled upon your back.

Cupcake Wars.

So.
I don't usually like watching TV.
I kind of find it to be a waste of time unless it's America's Got Talent, Flashpoint, or the News.
But.
I was watching the Food Network, and Cupcake Wars was on.

Oh my gosh.
It opened up my mind to a bunch of ideas.
But one thing is for sure: I am going to become a pro-cupcake baker. ;) hahaha.
I'm gonna start practicing making flowers, roses, and different patterns out of icing. :)
It's in my blood, actually. ;) Pretty much the whole Sinhalese side of me is artsy.....soo....with a little practicing, I might not do half bad. ;)

I'm pretty stoked.
Wish me luck!

Hopefully I'll have some pro cupcakes made in time for my birthday. :)

:) Hi There.

Isn't summer great?
Hopefully the sun decides to actually stay out for all of August.
I'd say we definitely deserve it.
I mean...last year we were hittin it up at 30-40C! Yet, this whole entire month, July's just been handing us the most random weather. We even went to our favourite vacation spot, and the water was freezing cold! People were jumping into the lake in wet suits. -.- Not right.
I managed to wear shorts, but not half as much as I should have.
July should have given us a little more heat.
Crossing my fingers in hopes that my birthday will deliver us some sweet heat.

In other news, I have been sketching! :) Really enjoying my pencils, this time of year. I drew a Jedi Starfighter 05, and a Stormtrooper. Slightly flawed, and a little too penciled out, but I guess that's what you get when you use a 2B Pencil. :)

I've been practicing my piano! Though, I can't get my printer to work...and I'm supposed to be working on Sonata No.5 or something...... :3 Hopefully it prints out soon!!

Music wise, I'm still listening to a lot of pop, electro, DJ mixes, n stuff.

Movie wise, I am officially all caught up on the Harry Potter movies, and am absolutely convinced that books were +100% waaaaay better.
Don't get me wrong, the director didn't do too bad of a job, but it felt like so much was missing.
I still need to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, though.

Can't wait to see Agapanthus. Definitely miss you sooo much! Hope you're having the time of your life in Greece.
I want to go with you next year! :)

xoxo
jazzymcjazzerpants.

My Cheers to Summer.

A Jones soda, couple of friends, the beach, and starry sky
Some family time, some working hours
This summer is gonna be off the hook
I ain't tellin you no lie.


So stoked.
I made a playlist.
Getting into some Indie Electro stuff. :)
Enjoy! :)

http://grooveshark.com/playlist/Tech+Out+My+Summer+/55758911

Goodbye Grade 11.

Well. You guys.
We did it.
We finished our first year of IB.
One more year.

You know, today, it finally hit me like a unicorn falling from the sky. Not the concept of summer (noting that the rain has not ceased), but the concept that....I have to get going on making my prom dress, start thinking about scholarship opportunities, look through college and uni brochures, make sure I'm on the right track, put some extra effort into the extra courses I'm going to be taking, definitely go harder and push myself with my piano, write more.....aaaaaaaaaaah *migraine.

Sometimes I wonder what my life could have turned out to be...if I had focused on one core area. Like the arts. What if I had continued piano at age 5? Would I be thinking about Juilliard right now?
Not gonna lie...I think Juilliard would be a lot of fun...wouldn't mind going there. But chances are that won't happen.

What if I was super brilliant? Would I be thinking about Ivy League schools?

Truth is...I don't know what I'm really good at. I'm sure the average kid doesn't. We're all over the map....and I don't understand why everyone wants to know what I'm going to university for. I don't understand why so many adults make a face when I say that I have absolutely no idea what I want to be "when I grow up," because to them, I am grown up, and these 11 years of education prepping should have prepared me for this disastrous, wonderful, life-changing, big question. Are you ready to graduate?

Maybe I'll sing and play piano for life. Maybe I'll become a Chemist, ironic since up until Semester II grade 11, I've always been disgusted with science. Maybe I'll live by my pen and travel the world with notebooks, canvas, paint, and a Nikon D3100.
Maybe I'll go to uni, get a BA, marry the prince of my dreams, and adopt a billion teens so that we can all live in my dream home.
Maybe I'll finish high school, fall in love with YWAM, and rearrange all my plans.
Maybe I'll travel...and travel....and travel just to rub it in fears face that nothing is impossible.....that I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Pshht....I have no idea what my future holds. Nothing. Notta.
The world tells me that I've gotta have it figured out by the end of this summer.
Heck, they want that figured out right now.
LOL. They wanted it written, signed, and vowed upon, post-Planning 10.

But, reader, I think the best advice I can offer for a situation like this...is we'll never know what we truly want. We live in a world full of incredible opportunities. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest.
That's what I plan on doing.

Goodbye Grade 11. Hello Senior Year.
Kind of a scary thought. I'm not sure what this year is gonna bring. I don't know what I'll be given, or what I'll choose. All I know is, that God's got my future planned out....I'll just have to follow my dreams in order to get there. Whatever it is....it'll be fulfilling, purposeful, engaging, and I'll absolutely love it.

We have to make our own path. I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to follow your dreams....that's why I have my own.
I want to leave high school, knowing that I made some sort of difference....and I want to go into this real world, knowing that I have a purpose to fulfill, and a mark to make upon the earth.


Here's to you, fellow grad victims of 2012.

We're not like everyone else. We have our own stories to tell, and new chapters to make.

No Regrets.


xoxo
jazzypants
silvader.

Aspirations.

I love that feeling that twists my heart up into that throbbing emotion of love. I love it when I can sit down on my favourite piece of furniture ~my piano stool~ and let my fingers roll along the ivories and flats. I love the feeling of a pedal beneath my painted toes.

Today I managed to sit down...and just play. I didn't go over my scales (though I definitely need to!!), and I didn't practice Sonatina in C Major (The Third Movement), and I briefly went over my study...but, today I allowed my self to sing and play the three best songs I've written.

It felt fantastic.

All the words fell into place, and I managed to hit some notes I haven't hit before...but I sang like I meant it. Most of my songs are so abstract, and I know that if I ever perform them, I'll have to explain them...but today I sang them with so much meaning.
It felt so real.

For me, when I sing and play my upright....it's like I enter a whole new world. A world where scales and majors and minors echo beyond what they really are. It's like these notes float onto papers in Heaven....and I can imagine that I'm playing along with Heaven's choir.

What it comes down to, is that everything that feels so real to me....becomes my songs. I sing for the sake of the passion deep within me. I sing for what makes me live and breathe.

Today I finished writing one of my songs....I'm fooling around with the bridge...but I can for the most part pull some improv with some chords and make it work.

And then I felt like writing more--and I finally wrote another song. In record time, too!

It takes me a while to write songs...because I don't always write when I have the onus to do so.

But today was a very passionate day.

And I just thought I'd share that with you. :)

Ra-Ra-Rasputin!

Skip to 1:38, then read the rest of this blogpost. :)

Oh my word. I'm pretty sure anyone who is into the oldies, knows what song that title is a part of.
It's soooo annoying.
It's been stuck in my head all day.
And now it will be stuck in yours. :)

I blame it on HP Sauce. Today we were reviewing the Russian Revolution unit, and she had asked, "Who's Rasputin again?"
Then I said, "Ra-Ra-Rasputin da da daaa dada da da daaaaa."

Mr. Wans gave me this terribly serious face and said, "Don't ever sing that song in my class again! ........I hate ABBA!"

=O

hahah, O-Mann and I were like, "But Wans, I don't think that song is by Abba."
Wans, "Who cares, I don't wanna be frolicking through the halls with that song stuck in my head!"

These are what sweet history things are made up of. :)
It was a great day. :)
For the remainder of our class, HP Sauce and I spent it singing Ra-Ra-Rasputin (ok...only I did) , and laughing our heads off at O-Mann's hilarious comments throughout the class.

O-Mann, I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. :) You made my day!

-Jazzypants 

Ironic how I would write that last post.....and then find this :)

and this..... :) 

I Don't Think I Can Explain This Very Well

And I don't know if I want to. No.
Details will remain unsaid.

But, all in all I've found myself questioning too much. "Is this real, is that? Is anything?" Very ridiculous, but it's been pretty hard. I haven't written very much because I've been trying to get my head on straight. Over the past few weeks, I've even questioned my faith.....

I guess a lot of people do.
But I've never wanted to come to this stance-point.
It's a super different change... and I'm pretty sure Theory of Knowledge Class doesn't help. (Hence why I'm dropping it for 2011-2012).
I've feared so much in the past few weeks.
So....in rebel against all this, I've been reading a lot of scriptures from the Bible....all dealing with how the love of God is so powerful, protective, and amazing.

I hate TOK for making me question everything....and yes....it's made me question even this. But I'm pressing on. I really am.
And somehow, I just know that God's using this to strengthen me......and I'm pretty sure this is that part in life where I can choose to take the high road or the low road.

Yes, this is definitely one of those challenges where I have to put everything in God's hands.
It's hard.
It's that spiritual part of Christianity where everything relies on you allowing the Holy Spirit to move....allowing Jesus to take my life and rule 100% of it. Yeah, the Word backs up a lot of it.....(hope this is making sense to you, Reader), but so much of this has been spiritually supernatural for me.

But....I just know that in the end I'll make it out.
Sometimes my days are super cheery, and sometimes it's a battlefield in my mind where I have to put on the Armour of God (having realized how powerful it really is!) and charge at every thing that's so distracting.

But...I just know that this is a test I'll pass. I have to. I must.
I've been trying to read a lot of the Word to get focused and remind myself that I'm not the only one who's gone/going through this. It's working.

I just have to push past that disgusting spirit of fear a lot, and wake up realizing that God is real. We can't see Him, but He's alive. He is.

Man. It feels good to have finally let some of it out.

Memo: If you're feeling burdened, not joking, it helps to speak up. As much as you don't want to, it helps to get it over with.

I really love this song.

"What Only You Can Do" -Misty Edwards

Yes I know I haven't written in a while....but the big reason will come later. Surprisingly it has nothing to do with procrastination! :) Not really anyways......

It'll be up sooner than you can say "You haven't even finished your 30-Day Blogger's Challenge!"

I know I know.

Check out My Newest Photoshop Edit :)

you have to click it :)

AH!

I haven't blogged in SO long, AND I haven't even finished the Thirty-Day Blogger's Challenge :O

But, I wanted to post this while the vibe was 'round...and while this writing notion lasts.

What is the topic of choice, you ask?

Osama Bin Laden.

I'm sure all of you have heard about this....I was probably the last person on the face of the Earth...or at least North America...to find out he had been captured and "taken care of."

The purpose of this blogpost is just stating my opinion  though......

See, I totally understand the terrible deeds he did regarding 9/11 and such....how so many lives were lost because of his actions.......and that millions of people suffered....but what I don't comprehend is why so many people are celebrating his death.
Like they say...."an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Has it not crossed anyone's mind that just because Osama Bin Laden died, doesn't mean there isn't a back up?! C'mon! There's always someone else to succeed a leader. I don't think that rampaging through the streets of North America is going to prevent any plotting of terrorist activity.

Celebrating any kind of murder just doesn't sit well with me. I don't care how terrible the person is......everyone should have the choice to live. Yes they may be exclusively undeniable crude.....but who's to say they should die for it?

In Theory of Knowledge, we learned about the validity of statements.
So, through all this, I could say Osama Bin Laden is a person. People do bad things. Therefore all people should die.

Personally, I think that this is only going to make matters worse. If terrorists are people who want to die for what they believe, and they believe it is wrong for the Americans to have killed Bin Laden, then don't you think we've got a very serious matter on our hands?

Apparently not only does "an eye for an eye [make] the whole world blind," but "revenge is sweet."

I hope nothing terrible happens.....and I'll pray as hard as I can....but sometimes things seem extremely uncalled for.

It's gonna take more people than just me to pray for our country. Our continent. Our world.

One Thing About Adolescence.

As teens, we grow.

Mentally.
Physically.
And Spiritually.

I'm at that point where....I'm looking back, reflecting, and correcting.
I'm dreaming....hoping....aspiring to be like my loved ones.

Over the past year, life's handed me tears, smiles, and frowns....and I've learned how to handle these things. In other cases, I'm still emotionally flustered, and fine myself laying in bed thinking about certain hardships past midnight.

At this very moment though, this song has been incredibly evoking.

I need to wake up.
I want to wake up.
It's just very difficult....to wake up out of hibernation.

More difficult than I thought.

But. "I need to be revived. Bring me back to life."

I'm gonna try harder.
I really am.

Hold me to it folks.

God......Hold me to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5gFdx8o76Y

I Have A Star Wars Ringtone.

Best Day of My Life.

TOK is actually influencing me?!?!

I am listening to Imogen Heap! Alas, I have found an indie techno band that of which I looooove. :)

One more thing to note: I got a journal a few weeks ago (Eco friendly, of course: made of sugarcane!!) which has remained blank for quite a while (aside from two of my favorite songs; ones that I have written) ..... But I've finally figured out what it will be used as.

No so much of a journal...
But a keepsake of memories, thoughts, and perceptions.

Pretty much my brains romantic thoughts on life. Looking at the deeper meanings of things and such.

Man.
I sound like an IB TOK nerddddd. XD

http://salutlebonheur.blog.com/

I have started yet another blog. :) For my more...'serious'...pieces. :) 


Check it out. Enjoy. 


Peace, Love, and Granola,
Jazzy. 

I'm In Love.

With Yann Tiersen ;)

He's a composer, no worries. :)
Best music I've heard in a long time. It's so captivating....enthralling....makes me want to dance...it's exhilarating.
I feel like going on adventures, skydiving, running and never stopping when I hear his collaborations.

Spinny
Swoony
Loving
Luring

It is just so very inspiring.

Questions II

To add to what I said earlier....titled Questions...
well.
Here.

See, I just read my devotions.
Man.
It's like God was talking directly to me.

"The more difficult your day, the more I yearn to help you. Anxiety wraps you up in yourself, trapping you in your own thoughts. When you look to Me and whisper My Name, you break free and receive My help. Focus on Me, and you will find Peace in My Presence."
- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

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