Being employed is not at all like I expected it to be. Management is poor, PR skills are low, and people are not always happy. It's so much more different than school... And so much easier to say, "I wonder what could have happened if I had done this instead..."

I am learning a lot. In the end I know that having unconsciously chosen the hard and trivial path it will be worth it. I will be better prepared for whatever the future holds.

Working has allowed me to taste the world and view its complexities.

It's not exactly lovely from where I stand.... But I feel as though this really is winter and spring will come.

Spring must come.
Just as rain kills a drought.
Flowers will revive what has been frozen.

I Love Autumn

This season comes with so many feelings. It is both warm and cold. The leaves are bright and happy... though the sky is grey.

The other night a good friend invited me out to a worship night at a nearby college. It was wonderful. I looked out the window at one point and realized that though it was cold out at the time, just a few hours ago it had been a warm afternoon. Things are changing drastically. We haven't had weather this bizarre since 1945, says the local newspaper.

But as I looked into the night sky brazed by the fog... I thought about God.
God's picture must be like the sky. Sometimes I like to think of his eyes being the universe in it's entity.
The sky is always changing, and in yet some sense it is consistent. It is always there. It isn't always what we want it to be, but it's what we need it to be.

We haven't had rain in weeks.

We don't necessarily like the rain.

Nonetheless we need it immensely. The grass is brittle and the air is quite dry.

I was figuring during worship that God is quite a mystery in a sense, because we have not physically seen Him. I trust He is there. That is what faith is for. I know He is because of the feelings and happenings that have occurred over the past few months especially where I have felt His presence.

Faith is difficult to explain unless you have experienced it...so I shall not ramble too much on that note. Just this: the other day I was talking about someone dear to my heart... and I said something that my heart must have known for the past two years for sure, but has just now put words to. "Faith is an experience of enlightenment that no human can touch. It is in a place so deep within our souls that only the Enlightener can handle."

Back to what I was saying.

I love autumn. Specifically Autumn 2012. I have seen sunshine and felt cold and witnessed the changing of colours upon the beautiful trees. I do not despise the falling of leaves. It kind of reminds me of the natural state of things. Trees without leaves. Nothing to disguise their backbone or structure.

I love autumn because it's all the best wrapped into one phase. God's beauty is everywhere. Is unique persona. His mystery. It's in the clouded skies and the blank blue paint of a brisk morning.

It is an experience I wish to savour.

It is just beauty.