My Cheers to Summer.

A Jones soda, couple of friends, the beach, and starry sky
Some family time, some working hours
This summer is gonna be off the hook
I ain't tellin you no lie.


So stoked.
I made a playlist.
Getting into some Indie Electro stuff. :)
Enjoy! :)

http://grooveshark.com/playlist/Tech+Out+My+Summer+/55758911

Goodbye Grade 11.

Well. You guys.
We did it.
We finished our first year of IB.
One more year.

You know, today, it finally hit me like a unicorn falling from the sky. Not the concept of summer (noting that the rain has not ceased), but the concept that....I have to get going on making my prom dress, start thinking about scholarship opportunities, look through college and uni brochures, make sure I'm on the right track, put some extra effort into the extra courses I'm going to be taking, definitely go harder and push myself with my piano, write more.....aaaaaaaaaaah *migraine.

Sometimes I wonder what my life could have turned out to be...if I had focused on one core area. Like the arts. What if I had continued piano at age 5? Would I be thinking about Juilliard right now?
Not gonna lie...I think Juilliard would be a lot of fun...wouldn't mind going there. But chances are that won't happen.

What if I was super brilliant? Would I be thinking about Ivy League schools?

Truth is...I don't know what I'm really good at. I'm sure the average kid doesn't. We're all over the map....and I don't understand why everyone wants to know what I'm going to university for. I don't understand why so many adults make a face when I say that I have absolutely no idea what I want to be "when I grow up," because to them, I am grown up, and these 11 years of education prepping should have prepared me for this disastrous, wonderful, life-changing, big question. Are you ready to graduate?

Maybe I'll sing and play piano for life. Maybe I'll become a Chemist, ironic since up until Semester II grade 11, I've always been disgusted with science. Maybe I'll live by my pen and travel the world with notebooks, canvas, paint, and a Nikon D3100.
Maybe I'll go to uni, get a BA, marry the prince of my dreams, and adopt a billion teens so that we can all live in my dream home.
Maybe I'll finish high school, fall in love with YWAM, and rearrange all my plans.
Maybe I'll travel...and travel....and travel just to rub it in fears face that nothing is impossible.....that I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Pshht....I have no idea what my future holds. Nothing. Notta.
The world tells me that I've gotta have it figured out by the end of this summer.
Heck, they want that figured out right now.
LOL. They wanted it written, signed, and vowed upon, post-Planning 10.

But, reader, I think the best advice I can offer for a situation like this...is we'll never know what we truly want. We live in a world full of incredible opportunities. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest.
That's what I plan on doing.

Goodbye Grade 11. Hello Senior Year.
Kind of a scary thought. I'm not sure what this year is gonna bring. I don't know what I'll be given, or what I'll choose. All I know is, that God's got my future planned out....I'll just have to follow my dreams in order to get there. Whatever it is....it'll be fulfilling, purposeful, engaging, and I'll absolutely love it.

We have to make our own path. I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to follow your dreams....that's why I have my own.
I want to leave high school, knowing that I made some sort of difference....and I want to go into this real world, knowing that I have a purpose to fulfill, and a mark to make upon the earth.


Here's to you, fellow grad victims of 2012.

We're not like everyone else. We have our own stories to tell, and new chapters to make.

No Regrets.


xoxo
jazzypants
silvader.

Aspirations.

I love that feeling that twists my heart up into that throbbing emotion of love. I love it when I can sit down on my favourite piece of furniture ~my piano stool~ and let my fingers roll along the ivories and flats. I love the feeling of a pedal beneath my painted toes.

Today I managed to sit down...and just play. I didn't go over my scales (though I definitely need to!!), and I didn't practice Sonatina in C Major (The Third Movement), and I briefly went over my study...but, today I allowed my self to sing and play the three best songs I've written.

It felt fantastic.

All the words fell into place, and I managed to hit some notes I haven't hit before...but I sang like I meant it. Most of my songs are so abstract, and I know that if I ever perform them, I'll have to explain them...but today I sang them with so much meaning.
It felt so real.

For me, when I sing and play my upright....it's like I enter a whole new world. A world where scales and majors and minors echo beyond what they really are. It's like these notes float onto papers in Heaven....and I can imagine that I'm playing along with Heaven's choir.

What it comes down to, is that everything that feels so real to me....becomes my songs. I sing for the sake of the passion deep within me. I sing for what makes me live and breathe.

Today I finished writing one of my songs....I'm fooling around with the bridge...but I can for the most part pull some improv with some chords and make it work.

And then I felt like writing more--and I finally wrote another song. In record time, too!

It takes me a while to write songs...because I don't always write when I have the onus to do so.

But today was a very passionate day.

And I just thought I'd share that with you. :)

Ra-Ra-Rasputin!

Skip to 1:38, then read the rest of this blogpost. :)

Oh my word. I'm pretty sure anyone who is into the oldies, knows what song that title is a part of.
It's soooo annoying.
It's been stuck in my head all day.
And now it will be stuck in yours. :)

I blame it on HP Sauce. Today we were reviewing the Russian Revolution unit, and she had asked, "Who's Rasputin again?"
Then I said, "Ra-Ra-Rasputin da da daaa dada da da daaaaa."

Mr. Wans gave me this terribly serious face and said, "Don't ever sing that song in my class again! ........I hate ABBA!"

=O

hahah, O-Mann and I were like, "But Wans, I don't think that song is by Abba."
Wans, "Who cares, I don't wanna be frolicking through the halls with that song stuck in my head!"

These are what sweet history things are made up of. :)
It was a great day. :)
For the remainder of our class, HP Sauce and I spent it singing Ra-Ra-Rasputin (ok...only I did) , and laughing our heads off at O-Mann's hilarious comments throughout the class.

O-Mann, I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. :) You made my day!

-Jazzypants 

Ironic how I would write that last post.....and then find this :)

and this..... :) 

I Don't Think I Can Explain This Very Well

And I don't know if I want to. No.
Details will remain unsaid.

But, all in all I've found myself questioning too much. "Is this real, is that? Is anything?" Very ridiculous, but it's been pretty hard. I haven't written very much because I've been trying to get my head on straight. Over the past few weeks, I've even questioned my faith.....

I guess a lot of people do.
But I've never wanted to come to this stance-point.
It's a super different change... and I'm pretty sure Theory of Knowledge Class doesn't help. (Hence why I'm dropping it for 2011-2012).
I've feared so much in the past few weeks.
So....in rebel against all this, I've been reading a lot of scriptures from the Bible....all dealing with how the love of God is so powerful, protective, and amazing.

I hate TOK for making me question everything....and yes....it's made me question even this. But I'm pressing on. I really am.
And somehow, I just know that God's using this to strengthen me......and I'm pretty sure this is that part in life where I can choose to take the high road or the low road.

Yes, this is definitely one of those challenges where I have to put everything in God's hands.
It's hard.
It's that spiritual part of Christianity where everything relies on you allowing the Holy Spirit to move....allowing Jesus to take my life and rule 100% of it. Yeah, the Word backs up a lot of it.....(hope this is making sense to you, Reader), but so much of this has been spiritually supernatural for me.

But....I just know that in the end I'll make it out.
Sometimes my days are super cheery, and sometimes it's a battlefield in my mind where I have to put on the Armour of God (having realized how powerful it really is!) and charge at every thing that's so distracting.

But...I just know that this is a test I'll pass. I have to. I must.
I've been trying to read a lot of the Word to get focused and remind myself that I'm not the only one who's gone/going through this. It's working.

I just have to push past that disgusting spirit of fear a lot, and wake up realizing that God is real. We can't see Him, but He's alive. He is.

Man. It feels good to have finally let some of it out.

Memo: If you're feeling burdened, not joking, it helps to speak up. As much as you don't want to, it helps to get it over with.