Oh Let It Just Be

Draw me a map
Let us not waste time
Searching for direction amongst the clouds in this sky

Draw me a map
Come with me
Let us travel

Let us shake hands
Drink tea
Smile happily and navigate across the sea
Together, Together

Oh let it just be.

Friend,

I am going to miss not seeing you everyday. I am going to miss the encouragement you always have to offer. I am going to miss you. Period.

I wish you the best of luck. Though you'll do fantastic without it, I just need you to know that I appreciate you, as a decent friend.

Beaucoup.

We're All A Piece of Work. We're All Painting That Piece of Work. It Is Art. Life--Life is Art.

We tend to make nothing turn into a big deal.

An argument paints the picture of denial and fear. I know it. I was once the painter.

Every work of art starts out differently, ends differently. We are all given different paints and pastels. We all pick up the brush and the stencil at different times. We all picture it differently. Some may never look at the easel happily. Some will be bored. Some will walk away, and never want a second chance. But we all paint. And each canvas remarks something extravagant.

My painting was once bright and beautiful. Somehow, as years went by, I darkened the tone and blended the blacks into the white. I grew fearful at what I painted. It depicted a monster of fear. But my Teacher blew upon the work once I asked. He then ripped the canvas, gave me a new one. He told me it was okay to start again. He took my hand. It was then that he began to help me work it into something new and grand. He mixed a new kind of love into my paints. It's not what I once had in mind. I may never be able to paint the picture I had originally started with.... I just know that if I continue to ask the Teacher for help, it'll be brilliant. With Him, everything is always perfection. And for me, the change is worthwhile. It's sort of new and exciting. I don't need to rely on past ideas of beauty.

My life is now dependent on this love I have never felt before. I am a new kind of painter. I enjoy working with different brushes and textures. I take my time.

I thank my Teacher so much for His help. He's always there to support me.

I never want to paint a monster again. I never will. I enjoy love all to much, for that.

I Love C.S. Lewis.

“It was when I was happiest that I longed most … The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing … to find the place where all the beauty came from.”
— C.S. Lewis

You Should Know, I Am Not the Superficial Type.

I was asked, "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would ya go?"

My answer ? "Argentina."

Maybe it was nerves... I don't really know what it was... but I've never really thought about visiting Argentina.
It would be absolutely lovely, I know that.

But my dream vacation is a trip to Britain.

So why did I say Argentina?

Maybe because it's never talked about. It's isolated. People forget about it because there's nothing awe strikingly famous about it.

I want to visit it because if no one is talking about it, there must be no superficiality to it.

And that's what I like.

I don't like anything superficial.

You Had Me At Hello

My heart's surrounded by butterflies that I know you've blown my way. Please. Stay genuine, and don't give up. Not yet.

FAITH IS BORN OUT OF LOVE

Religiosity never did anybody any good. Faith is born out of love. Love for one another, love for God. Before you go about pointing fingers at how things are supposed to be done, check up with the man upstairs and see if he's got anything to say about you and how you're walking. Loving God isn't and should never be a performance. Shut the lights down and picture your world with no one and nothing but Him. That's what it's about... Deep down.

Love,

The Concerned

Really,

We should not rely on feelings. In fact, we should not at all. Not so much so as we should upon guidance from above.

It is not the stars I speak of, for the constellations and myths do not know of the future.... They were designed by the past.

No....

But God...... I do most certainly believe God will give us an answer... If we are patient.

Yes....

We must be patient.

May the bonds of love tie me even closer to you... So that I may understand its beloved uniting power... And grasp the potential of its works. I want to be safe forever.... So I will trust.

So I will trust.

Finding Inner Peace.

Life after high school is so different. I did not imagine such dramatic things would start happening. 

It's not all bad.

But there comes a time when we all feel slightly lonely in life. Hate to be a downer, but that's what's up.

It has been quite an eye opener-- realizing who true friends are, why faith is so important, and how it really effects the grand spectrum of life. 

I was trying to fall asleep at 2am last night, when I pulled up a youtube link on my iPod. I've had this song listed as one of my favourites for quite a while, but the words hit me hard this time. 

Seriously. Breathe in "Abba" and exhale "I belong to you." 

It just felt so beautiful. 

I've always known it. But sometimes saying it aloud really helps. Alone or surrounded, there's always someone's who's got my back. 

A Little Bit of Me

I used to spend many nights lying awake, dreaming in the dark. I have now found a peace that is as great as the love that has awoken me. He's  broken the chains that have held me to the greatest nightmares of fear itself, and set me free to live in the abundance of a comfort so strong and so igniting. I have found true love and tasted its serenity. That is why I live to serve a God I cannot see; he redeemed me when I was blind to his purposes. He opened my eyes, and now I see what I could not before. It is that love that penetrates my soul. Love exists. And I cannot run away from it. 

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

A smile can hide a lot of secrets. A smile can create a personality out of someone and draw out their inner happiness. A smile can endure pain and portray the beauty of strength.

She has used this smile to hide a lot of things that have happened in her life. She has used this smile to laugh at jokes that are far too old and hurtful. She has used this smile to show how she truly feels at times.

There are a bundle of emotions hidden in her heart.

You may think you know her.

But you do not.

Be careful what you say, because although you may think you know someone.... you do not.


I hope you've read this. I hope you've seen this and know exactly what I am talking about.

She stared into his big eyes and in that moment felt like the world was one of the happiest places on earth. The air was light and the sun was bright. She smiled and poured those beautiful secrets into his eyes.

But were those eyes a trap for so many more? How often did he trade happiness for innocence?

She pondered upon such a meditation for quite a while, and realized that letting go might have to be an option.

Such a hard thing to do, it would have to be.

And she burst into tears, hiding herself away into the music of the night. Whispers from the rain and secrets buried within her pillow captured her mind, as dreams drew a blank and fatigue engraved wonder and questions in her eyes.

I bought a tin of British Fruit Drops in celebration of the Diamond Jubilee. :) #ThingsThatMakeMeHappy

Let's go on an adventure now.

It's funny how I can think that I have everything planned out one minute, and the next, it all falls apart (in a good way).

It's a good reminder to know that I am not in control, and that there are far greater plans for my life than I even know or can comprehend, just as it is with every one.

See I thought I was going to New Zealand for my YWAM trip, but that was before I was faced with the opportunity to meet my great grandparents for the first time.

I have made the choice to visit my great grandparents instead of going to New Zealand.

I'm cool with it. :) It was a very difficult decision to make, but it's comforting to know that YWAM will always be there if I decide to do a DTS in the future. :)

However; what with this trip to see my great grandparents across the continent, I don't know what is actually going to happen afterwards. See, YWAM was a 5 month thing. Visiting the grandparents is a shorter period of time, which leaves me very open ended about the whole "what does my future look like" thing.

If that makes sense.



It was just something I needed though, I guess. I needed to be reminded that I am not in control of my life. I've already surrendered.
God's in control.

He's probably laughing at me. :) Smiling, because I have absolutely no idea what's going to unfold this year. It's going to be so completely different from these past 12 years of education.

It's a good place to be. At a loss for control, but confident that at least Someone has His hands held tightly around my world.

Here's to the "Newness-Factor."

Let's go on an adventure, now.

IB UPDATE

I AM DONE IB FOREVER.
WAHOO.
GREATEST FEELING EVER.


I will find out my IB English/History/French exam results in July. Until then, I am as free as a bird.
It's great.
I've actually had time to experiment in the kitchen. Cooking is such a pleasure!
And I'm working on my music, putting my whole heart into it.

I just love free time!

Now, to finish two units of Writing 12 in two weeks. :$ Haven't been doing this paper-based course that I picked up at the beginning of the year. Mad rushing; all that IB prep will come in handy. ;)

AND, I got accepted into YWAM. I will be travelling to New Zealand this summer....if the funds come in. The way I take it, is if God really wants me to do this and it's meant to be, the money will come in no big deal. If this isn't meant to be just yet, then I'll work for the rest of the year, save money, take a math 12 course (I didn't take math this year), and possibly a fun course like a semester of Make-up School or Photography at a local uni. :) Should be fun, whatever happens. I'm not too worried about it.

Man.


Just so grateful that I've finished the International Baccalaureate program as a Certificate. Hopefully I passed :D

Left that program quite interestingly. I've really been able to pinpoint a lot of my strengths and weaknesses. It gave me good things and bad, but overall, I wouldn't have met some of my closest buddies and been so spiritually enlightened. Not that IB was enlightening. More so, that it directed me into such a thinking pattern by which I was forced to engage more with God rather than take on everything with my own brain. I doubted a lot of what I had experienced in the past and questioned so much, analyzing what I had believed. Then, I sort of had a revelation, and I believe so much more than I ever have before, in a different kind of way. Hard to explain, but I just wanted to share that.

Up next: convocation&prom

FAISONS LA NOUBA !

Time To Blog About My Feelings.

Haven't done this in a while, but it is time to vent.

I just had an emotional breakdown: partly because my computer crashed while I was studying and taking notes; partly because I'm freaking out about my history exams. I must write 3 papers: the last two of which include 5 essays. The information I must memorize is insane: from pre-WW1 to the process of detente in the Cold War... I have to know these events inside out and be able to analyze them. It's crazy, but we've been studying these things since September 2010. I'm freaking out, though.

Anyways, the computer crashed, and I burst out into tears. I'm still red-eyed and stressed, but I need not be. This is the moment where most of my IB buddies would come in with a pep talk and yell at me (in a personal-trainer-sort-of-good-way), telling me that I've been studying this stuff for two years. I've been writing for so long. On the inside I really know what to do, and when the time comes, everything will come flying back and I'll nail this. In fact, they'd probably tell me that I could nail it right now, if I put my mind to it. Don't let obstacles get in the way, just sprint.

Wow. Kind of just gave myself a pep-talk and I feel a little better, actually.

In any case, after 5-10minutes of balling and raging I washed my face with freezing cold water, turned the computer back on, and decided to pull everything back up, and keep this picture on the side, as well as on my desktop, for motivation.

It's working. 

I'm going back to work now. I've pulled out a bunch of history text books and hopefully my computer stays alive enough for me to get a good review in. 

Not going to stress, because that will get me nowhere. 

Sprinting. 

Cinematography.

Cinematography done in class. :) Quite fun.

Yo Guys.

New Tunes On YouTube.

Here's my cover on Sufjan Steven's "For the Widows in Paradise; For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti." 

Cheers, To Inspiration.

I've come across a video shot @2500 fps. It's beautiful. You may have heard about the festival of colours...

And that is where my journey began. Youtube brought me to many different links, and I thought I'd share with you one or two other videos shot with powerful cameras in slow motion. Just beauties.

Hey, Der. Late Easter Post. :)

Some of these pictures are recipes my family and I made for our Easter Dinner. :) Lovely dishes. All from a Martha Stewart Magazine ! :) Lovely.

Barley Salad with Herbs

Asparagus with Breadcrumbs

Salmon, etc.